An ode from a daughter to her Mother

 

An ode from a daughter to her Mother

 

                                                                                                Dr. Veerendra Mishra, IPS  

     10-08-2022

 

 

 

Ma,

 

Today on my birthday,

I remembered you in silence for two minutes,

And I was overwhelmed with unbearable sadness;

Tears in my eyes, today I realise,

you were the most innocent soul in our family,

so unappreciated,

so taken for granted,

so beautiful and so delicate.

 

Ma,

 

When I remembered you for couple of minutes on my birthday,

I found your unbridled love and fragile existence,

which was overtaken by the grandeur of our pragmatism;

After your passing,  

you were forgotten,

because all you ever had to offer was pure love and affection,

not the worldly wisdom that is unfortunately valued the most.

 

Ma,

 

love of mother is forever assumed as a right,

You were the real beating heart of the family;
I miss that all,

the taste of your finger, which I licked as a kid when you fed,

that innocent walk which I followed in my childhood,

that turned into a limp as you grew;

But, alas! as you slowed we paced ahead,

but still your love never waned

and the spectrum of benevolence endlessly spread.

 

Ma,

 

How we had two contrasting personalities at home,

two persons, completely different,

You and papa;

Both had experiences and expressions galore,

but huge rift in worldview;

there were contradictions in manifestation of affection,

even the definition of meaning of life did not match;
However, you kept afloat the spirit,

that you were there, and meant for each;

Despite the differences in personality and character,

you nourished and kept the bond intact,

without glorifying the sense of sacrifice,

or ever saying that marriage is just a compromise.

 

 

Ma,

 

Didn’t you ever desire to fly, high?

You must have certainly been frustrated,

for your clipped wings, gagged voice,

shackled legs and for being handcuffed,

but we missed to take note of your wriggle,

we never believed you had a voice, wings, legs and arms,

perhaps because you never wanted it to make evident;

You were the most underrated, undermined and marginalised;

regrettably, I realise it now when I have stepped into your shoes,

the revelation is little late,

as you are settled in your heavenly abode;

I wonder if mothers find the safest haven in the clouds,

Or they still fail to live in peace looking from there at us.

 

 

Ma,

 

I want to cry soft, cry hard,

For I want it to make it reach and resonate in the skies

and be heard by you who cried all life for us,
I want to cry my heart out

and run my tears dry;

I want my soul to be drenched in love for you,

who soaked me with unconditional, relentless love,

all throughout your existence;

Give me one chance to tell you what you meant for me,

I lost the chance in the journey of making myself,

At least let me regret in person.

 

 

Oh Ma,

 

Come over for a while,

let me tell how precious you are,

how your innocence bred my wisdom,

how your silence gave me my voice,

how your tears made me brave,

how your soft voice made me forgiving,

how your touch made me loving,

how your presence created a sense of safety,

how your aura instilled confidence,

and how your tender look gave me the grace,

I am all what you made me,

Please come and see your creation.

 

Oh Ma,

 

Let us decide how I get the second chance I yearn,

Either you come back so that I can love you as you did,

or let me come to love you there,
I am not your mirror image but certainly your shadow,

I have now taken the shape that you were once,

which a shadow always does,

But, no doubt a dark, poor replica

I am proud that what I saw in you then is what I am now,

What I detested hitherto is what I love most now,

Oh Ma, please give me a second chance,

Please come back,

Let me once hug you tight and say,

Ma, I love you and miss you all-time.