I was wandering on the beautiful golden beaches of Goa, with an aim to aimlessly loiter, to lose myself, unwind the stress and gather the freshness, and steal some beauty from surrounding nature. I was trying to count the relentless waves hitting the shores, witnessing the froth on the waves eaten up by the beach sand, looking at the small sea shells rolling up to the sand on the waterside and slipping down under the water with the waves, and formation and disappearance of my footsteps on the wet minute gravels.
I was mumbling, whispering and thinking loud. Perhaps, alone I intended to give company to my solitude. Suddenly, I felt I missed to hear myself, as my voice got submerged in the sound of waves. This was a challenge, and I shouted full throttle to dare bury my voice. To my surprise I soared my throat with couple of challenging yells, but the sea continued teasing me with its roaring laughter through waves hitting just above my ankles and below. It pitied my miniscule presence and dragged the sand beneath my barefoot, tickling me and solacing me to forget my ego and enjoy where I was, what I was, who I was and when I was. It hinted me to empty myself of all thoughts and try to think to be thoughtless. It prompted me to enjoy my presence, in the presence of the beauty of unbridled nature. However, it was easier said than done.
Now, my thought process shifted and strayed into new dimension. Of course, I couldn’t become thoughtless and drift into vacuum. In fact it further agitated me, coursing my musing to identify myself in this vastness. I started wondering how can I be egoless, presence less, motion less and in a state of thoughtlessness. Wouldn't that make me a non-entity. Would it not pose a challenge to my existence and create an identity crisis in me. What character represents all these factors?
Another wave, a bigger one, more powerful, came and hit, dis-balancing me. In an attempt to hold my ground I looked down. Water was greyish, loaded with sand. As it settled back while returning to main seabed, the colour changed to blueish. Froth riding top of another wave towards shore was whiteish. Farther I looked, darker the colour became. Same water looked different at different places, in different situation and different dynamics. Did it turn its colour like chameleon to protect itself or was it too magnanimous to be bothered by its surroundings. Did it behave as nothing, above the struggle of identity crisis?
I went on thinking and water conversed with me loud!
For anything living on this earth, water is indispensable necessity.
‘You are animate because you have me!’
However, I knew, itself it behaved ‘inanimate’. It did not bother about its taste, colour or identity. It silently merged with the identity of its surroundings.
‘Love or you hate, I do not care!’
‘The way you treat me, the way you get me’.
How do we explain a character, which doesn’t have any of its own character? Or was the character so strong that it knew that its presence couldn’t be compromised with, neglected and overlooked.
‘My presence is not because of you, and my existence is independent of my surroundings. I let you overtake me because I have no identity crisis!’
Was that arrogance of water or was it confidence. I walked a mile on the shore, with every wave hitting me with smile, oozing confidence, and prompting me to converse more. I laughed and agreed. My hearty noisy laugh merged with hearty noisy laughter of uninterrupted, intermittent waves, creating and subsiding itself at will. It never bothered if it was humbly touching my feet or I humbly bowed to take a dip with reverence. It swayed and danced at will, without any concern. All along the beach, tourist poured in to take energy from it. I realized it was time for me to backtrack with a lesson learnt.